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You know you live in a small town when...

  1. It has an aquarium -- stocked with a live minnows
  2. The town newspaper is published monthly
  3. The town is named after EVERYONE'S distant relative.
  4. It was founded on April Fools' Day as a practical joke.
  5. The Ice Cream store has only two  flavors, chocolate and vanilla. 
  6. There's no hospital -- only a first aid kit
  7. For fun on Saturday nights, people drive up and down main street. 
  8. There's no bank...  as soon as someone gets enough money, they leave.
  9. The only traffic jam's are caused when a farmer drives down Main Street on his combine.
  10. The local phone book has only one yellow page.
  11. Hardware, Dry Goods, Grocery, Clothing and farm supplies are all sold at the same store.
  12. Third Street is on the edge of town
  13. You don't signal turns because everyone knows where you're going, anyway.
  14. No social events are scheduled when the school gym floor is being varnished.
  15. You call a wrong number and they supply you with the correct one.
  16. Everyone knows all the news before it's published
  17. People read the paper to see whether the publisher got the facts right.
  18. The city limits signs are both on the same post.
  19. McDonalds only has one Golden Arch
  20. The 7-11 is only open from 8 - 5.
  21. The only road crossing Main Street is a dirt road.
  22. The New Year's baby was born in October.
  23. The one-block-long Main Street dead ends in both direction
  24. There's no place to go that you shouldn't
  25. "Night on the Town" takes only 11 minutes
  26. At the last beauty contest, nobody won 2nd or 3rd.

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