If Bill Gates was a Redneck named Billy Bob Gates....
- Their #1 product would be Microsoft Winders
- Instead of an hourglass icon you'd get an empty beer bottle
- Occasionally you'd bring up a window that was covered with duct Tape and a
- Dialog boxes would give you the choice of Ahh-ight or Naaaaa
- Instead of ta-da the opening sound would be dueling banjos
- The Recycle Bin in Winders'95 would be an outhouse
- Whenever you pulled up the sound player you'd hear a digitized drunken
redneck yelling Free bird!
- Instead of Start Me Up the Winders'95 theme song would be Sweet Home
- PowerPoint would be named ParPawnt
- Microsoft's programming tools would be Vishul Basic and Bishul C++
- Winders'95 logo would incorporate the Confederate Flag
- Microsoft Word would be just that: one word
- Instead of latte carts we'd have grits carts
- New Shutdown wav: Y'all come back now, Yah hear?
- Instead of VP, Microsoft big shots would be called "Cuz"
- Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Trans Am
- Microsoft Office replaced with Micrasawft Henhouse
- Four words: Daisy Duke Screen Saver
- Well, the first thing you know, old Bill's a billionaire
- Speadsheet software would include examples to inventory dead cars in your
- Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor Pull Simulator
- Microsoft CEO: Bubba Gates
- Instead of asking "where do you want to go today? it's more like Hey
mister, can I ketch a ridein the back?
- Free eraser to erase the scribbble marks off the screen when using the