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If Bill Gates was

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If Bill Gates was a Redneck named Billy Bob Gates....

  • Their #1 product would be Microsoft Winders
  • Instead of an hourglass icon you'd get an empty beer bottle
  • Occasionally you'd bring up a window that was covered with duct Tape and a Hefty Bag
  • Dialog boxes would give you the choice of Ahh-ight or Naaaaa
  • Instead of ta-da the opening sound would be dueling banjos
  • The Recycle Bin in Winders'95 would be an outhouse
  • Whenever you pulled up the sound player you'd hear a digitized drunken redneck yelling Free bird!
  • Instead of Start Me Up the Winders'95 theme song would be Sweet Home Alabama
  • PowerPoint would be named ParPawnt
  • Microsoft's programming tools would be Vishul Basic and Bishul C++
  • Winders'95 logo would incorporate the Confederate Flag
  • Microsoft Word would be just that: one word
  • Instead of latte carts we'd have grits carts
  • New Shutdown wav: Y'all come back now, Yah hear?
  • Instead of VP, Microsoft big shots would be called "Cuz"
  • Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Trans Am
  • Microsoft Office replaced with Micrasawft Henhouse
  • Four words: Daisy Duke Screen Saver
  • Well, the first thing you know, old Bill's a billionaire
  • Speadsheet software would include examples to inventory dead cars in your front yard
  • Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor Pull Simulator
  • Microsoft CEO: Bubba Gates
  • Instead of asking "where do you want to go today? it's more like Hey mister, can I ketch a ridein the back?
  • Free eraser to erase the scribbble marks off the screen when using the NotePad

Ya'll Come Back Now, Ya hear?