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HiTech Redneck

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You Might Be a High-Tech Redneck If...

  • If your e-mail address ends in ".over.yonder.com."
  • If you connect to the World Wide Web via a "Down Home Page."
  • If the sticker on your computer says, "My other computer is a laptop."
  • If your laptop has a sticker that says, "Protected by Smith and Wesson."
  • If your baseball cap reads "DEC" instead of "CAT."
  • If your computer is worth more than all your cars combined.
  • If your wife said either she or the computer "had to go," and you still don't miss her.
  • If you've ever used a CD-ROM as a coaster for your beer.
  • If you ever refer to your computer as "Ole Bessy."
  • If your screen saver is a bitmap image of your favorite truck, tractor, or farm animal.
  • If you start all your e-mails with the words: "Howdy y'all!"
  • You've ever brought your laptop to a Tractor Pull.
  • When your friends comment on your "nice boots" and you say "Yea, thanks. Its my spiffy, new Phoenix BIOS."
  • When you're honked off at your computer warranty because it doesn't cover damage from "Bovine Saliva."
  • When your computer toolkit contains a pitch fork.
  • When your MS-DOS boot menu contains an entry called, "Cow Tipping Configuration."
  • If you've ever been to "http://www.hee-haw.com."
  • When your wife catches you again with your "Farm Animals of the Orient" CD-ROM.
  • When you order your new pick-up truck with a gunrack and PCMCIA sockets.
  • When, in a pinch, you use your laptop battery to jump-start the Combine.
  • When you have 17 different versions of DOOM, but you still can't write your name.
  • If you've ever doubled the value of your truck by installing a cellular phone with modem and fax option.
  • If you know that NORTON UTILITY isn't a power company.

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