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Redneck Medical Terms


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Redneck Medical Terms

  • A pubic hair is a type of wild rabbit.
  • Asphalt describes rectal problems.
  • A condom is a large apartment.
  • Douche is the French word for "twelve.
  • Genitals are people of non-Jewish descent.
  • A diaphragm is a drawing in Geometry.
  • Fetus is a character on Gunsmoke.
  • An erection is when Japanese people vote.
  • A dildo is a variety of the sweet pickle.
  • An umbilical chord is part of a parachute.
  • Spread Eagle is an extinct bird.
  • A menstrual cycle has three wheels.
  • The clitoris is a type of flower.
  • Testacles are found on an octopus.
  • Kotex is a radio station in Cincinatti.
  • Masturbate is used to catch large fish.
  • Benign........What you be after you be eight.
  • Artery...... The study of paintings.
  • Bacteria.....Back door to cafeteria.
  • Barium........What doctors do when patients die.
  • Cesarean Section....A neighborhood in Rome.
  • CATscan....................Searching for kitty.
  • Cauterize..................Made eye contact with her.
  • Colic.......................... A sheep dog.
  • Coma...........................A punctuation mark.
  • D & C..........................Where Washington is.
  • Dilate......................... To live long.
  • Enema..........................Not a  friend.
  • Fester.........................Quicker than someone else.
  • Fibula..........................A small lie.
  • Genital.........................Non-Jewish person.
  • G.I. Series..................World Series of military baseball.
  • Hangnail......................What you hang your coat on.
  • Impotent.....................Distinguished, well known.
  • Labor Pain...................Getting hurt at work.
  • Medical Staff............A Doctor's cane.
  • Morbid........................A higher offer than I bid.
  • Nitrates.......................Cheaper than day rates.
  • Node.............................I knew it.
  • Outpatient..................A person who has fainted.
  • Pap Smear...................A fatherhood test.
  • Pelvis............................Second cousin to Elvis.
  • Post Operative...........A letter carrier.
  • Recovery Room...........Place to do upholstery.
  • Rectum..........................Damn near killed him.
  • Secretion......................Hiding something.
  • Seizure..........................Roman emperor.
  • Tablet............................A small table.
  • Terminal Illness...........Getting sick at the airport.
  • Tumor.............................More than one.
  • Urine..............................Opposite of you're out.
  • Varicose.........................Near by/close by.
 

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