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You May Be A Redneck Pilot If


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your stall warning plays "Dixie."
your cross-country flight plan uses flea markets as check points.
you think sectionals charts should show trailer parks.
you've ever used moonshine as avgas.
you have mud flaps on your wheel pants.
you think GPS stands for going perfectly straight.
your toothpick keeps poking your mike.
you constantly confuse Beechcraft with Beechnut.
just before impact, you are heard saying, "Hey y'all, watch this!"
you have a black airplane with a big #3 on the side.
you've ever just taxied around the airport drinking beer.
you use a Purina feed bag for a windsock.
you fuel your wizzbang 140 from a Mason jar.
you wouldn't be caught dead flyin' a Grumman "Yankee."
you refer to flying in formation as "We got ourselves a convoy!"
there is a sign on the side of your aircraft advertising your septic tank service.
the set of "matched luggage" you take on your long cross-country flights is three grocery sacks     from the same Piggly Wiggly!
when you are the owner of Red Neck Airlines and pilot of Redneck One.
you subscribe to The Southern Aviator because of the soft paper! P.S. If you don't believe me, try cleaning yourself with one of those slick magazines.
 

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